


Forever is a long time

by enfoire



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Child Abuse, F/F, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, abuse mention, as the fic goes on - Freeform, hopefully, karkat and kankri dont hate each other, kind of?, kingdom au, slowburn, typical davekat fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-12-16 07:39:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11824125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enfoire/pseuds/enfoire
Summary: Faced with their kingdom crumbling, Kankri asks Karkat to find a spouse. Karkat didn't expect said spouse to be an asshole with apple juice in one hand, and a ring in the other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thank you to Lilly for constantly reminding me to write this, and to Sol for beta reading.  
> if anyone sees any grammatical errors, please tell me! Also tell me if any characters are too OOC!  
> Please keep hitting me upside the head with a pan and remind me to update this.  
> Much love!

Karkat wasn’t a very outgoing person. He was well known for his foul mouth, and distaste for social interactions beyond what he deemed necessary. 

Considering this, his situation was dreadful. 

Kanaya and Jade had teamed up to dress him for a very important event: a party. Respective parties of both lands would be there. The land that The Betas owned was smaller, yet vastly more popular. It held four separate kingdoms, with four heir’s swiftly rising to their thrones. The Zodiacs were more diverse, holding 12 kingdoms, but was far more aggressive. It was almost a guarantee that one kingdom would be at war with another. Unlike the humans that dwelled in the Beta area, the citizens of the Zodiac kingdoms were trolls. All of them had grey skin, and various shaped horns coming from their heads. While The Beta kingdoms were all seen as equals, The Zodiacs went by a ruthless caste system based on their blood color. Fuchsia and purples as the highest, and rust as the lowest. 

Karkat and his family were lucky to even own a piece of land. Their blood color wasn’t even technically on the hemospectrum, standing out as a vibrant red. His father had earned their spot in the kingdoms through his popularity alone. He spoke out against the caste system, and gained quite the number of followers. They had built a cathedral, and eventually pronounced him king. All blood colors had been welcome there, given equal opportunities and equal rights. If it wasn’t for the fact that the kingdom was so poor, it could’ve been a wonderland.

After their father had (mysteriously) died, Kankri was set as next in line for the crown. He was too timid, however, to rule the people. He just couldn’t get anyone to listen to him when it came to setting rules and guidelines for the people. The only time Kankri could get people to listen was when he was preaching. Their ears only seemed to tune into him at that moment. Considering this, he had went teary eyed to his younger brother, and told him that he was preparing for a mission trip to gain new followers. That way they’d begin making at least SOME income for the small kingdom. When he left, Karkat would have to step up and rule over them. His loud mouth and short temper caught the attention of the people more easily, and the sheer aggravation of the boy’s mouth alone got them to comply. 

Kankri had been too afraid that the money would dry up when he left, so he had asked a difficult task for his brother. 

“Karkat, would you listen to me for a second please?” His voice had that tone that a mother would use when she was about to lecture her child. Karkat wouldn’t know, they didn’t have mothers. When he got this tone, Karkat knew it was best to just shut his mouth and listen.

“Not to bring up any bad or sad thoughts but..I am leaving soon, and I want you to be…secure when I’m gone. I’m not trying to offend you by saying that you can’t fend for yourself, but,” 

“Kankri, you’re ranting again. Just get to the point.” Karkat learned that if he didn’t stop him, Kankri could go on for hours, trying to tiptoe around the youngers’ feelings.

“Ah, yes, sorry.” He paused to bite his lip. “I’ve asked if Kanaya will escort you to a party. All of the other heirs will be there to mingle. But, I need you to do something very important, for me, the kingdom, and yourself. Are you listening to me? I need you to take this seriously, Karkat.” Kankri took a moment to figure out how he’d ask without making his brother upset. But he knew it’d be better to just be blunt. 

“I need to you find a spouse.” 

Karkat froze, a sick feeling swirling around in his stomach. “You…want me to get fucking married?”

“Language. I’ve told you a million times. But, yes. I would prefer for you to at least get engaged before I’m gone. If you marry with another heir, we’ll be sure to bring in some money. We have to. You know I wouldn’t ask you unless we absolutely had to. I’d do it myself but they just don’t listen, Kar. But they do with you. They always have. I know I shouldn’t put you in this position, I know-“

“Kankri, shut the hell up. I’ll do it, alright? You don’t have to force me. I know that our situation is more than shitty, I just... Who the fuck would marry into the lowest class? We aren’t even technically royalty! We just got adopted into it, but” Karkat took a moment to breathe. Kanaya had taught him how to count to ten when it felt like his head was about to explode. “But I understand. I wouldn’t ever make you, I can do it.” He knew Kankri would be miserable in marriage if it was arranged. Kankri had taken a vow to celibacy, and Karkat couldn’t handle the thought of someone forcing themselves onto his brother. 

Kankri had broken down into tears, holding his brother so tight that Karkat was tempted to make a comment about how he was about to crush him. But he held him, whispering comforts and feeling much older than he was. 

After a week, the party had arrived, and Kanaya and an unfamiliar girl were happily standing on the Vantas’ doorsteps. 

“Hey, Kan.” He smiled at the jadeblood, and side-eyed the bubbly girl standing next to her. She was obviously from the Beta kingdom, with her tan skin and hornless head. She had emerald eyes that looked magnified behind her huge glasses. 

“Is this… an assistant or what?” He hadn’t heard of a human serving a non-royal troll before. But then again, Kanaya was engaged to a human herself. 

The human girl burst into a fit of giggles, elbowing Kanaya in the side. “Hear that, Madame Kanaya?” she put a strange (French) accent on the word ‘Madame’. “I am officially at your service!” She even did a small curtsey. 

Karkat snorted and rolled his eyes. “A smart ass, huh? I bet you got her from Rose.”

Kanaya cleared her throat nervously, taking the tan girl by the shoulders and pushing her a little closer to the mutant blood. “Karkat, this is Jade Harley. She’s an heir from The Beta Kingdom, so you might want to put on your manners early tonight.” She said the last part tightly, emphasizing the part with manners. Jade smiled brightly and waved at Karkat, the troll’s face lighting up with embarrassment. He hadn’t ever met a Beta before. 

“Shit, um, excuse me. Damn, I probably shouldn’t be cussing either.” Karkat sighed and rubbed his temples as Jade exploded into laughter.

“Oh my god I love him! John would have a field day with him! I’m so excited you’re finally meeting us all! C’mon! We need to get you all dressed up! Can’t have you going around all those stuffies dressed like this, they’d kill you and serve poor ol’ Karcrab for the appetizer.” She took Karkat by his wrist, yanking him inside as if she already knew the place. Which wasn’t much, but it wasn’t too awful either. The Vantas castle stood a good height, with stained glass murals in most of the visiting and guest rooms. It connected to the Grand Cathedral, which held services once a week for the people. Taking some pride in their blood color, their father had decorated most of the castle in bright reds, greys and blacks. The Ballroom and Dining area were adorned in colors of all the hemospectrum. 

Jade whistled, and a dog, followed by the Maryam tailors began to flood in. 

Kanaya picked a place for Karkat to stand firm, the tailors getting to work while Jade and Kanaya discussed what color and design would look best on the boy. The Jadeblood was prodding around Karkat’s side, when he hissed at her. 

“Why the flying fuck would you bring a Beta here? When Kankri sees her, he’s going to have a meltdown. You could’ve at least asked first. Does common courtesy not exist anymore? I-“

“Oh yes!” Kanaya snapped up quickly. “I forgot all about darling Kankri! We have to dress him up too. Considering he will be embarking very soon on a mission, he should look his best in front of those damned highbloods. Let them know he’s serious about his cause.” She leaned into Karkat, her breath going dangerously by his neck. “Also, I brought Jade here because she asked to help. She wanted to meet you. Be nice to her while I’m gone, or I’ll have to punish you for it.” The mutant blood nodded shortly, sighing when Kanaya pressed her lips to his cheek. 

“Sure thing, mother grub.”

Kanaya rolled her eyes, turning on her green heels to find Kankri. Jade smiled at him again before going to work stitching. They only had so much time before it was time to go.

In the end, Karkat had a grey and black suit, with the Vantas symbol stitched over his breast. Jade had done it, Karkat had watched her determined face, her tongue poking over her lips. It was a darker grey, their traditional color. Kanaya had mainly focused on Kankri’s suit, which was a bit more intricate. It was black, but with candy red designs, his symbol was their blood color. The red symbol had a more striking meaning to it, and would obviously irritate a few highbloods. But Kanaya had intended on that, though Kankri had protested against it. 

Unfortunately, the kingdoms had to arrive in their respective vehicles to announce their individual arrival. A rule that Karkat was certain was placed by highbloods who wanted to flaunt.

The party was taking place in the Beta Lands, and in the heir of Breath’s kingdom. The Heir there had already been crowned king after his father had suddenly passed a few years prior. John Egbert wanted to host the event there so that it’d be a fight-free environment. He also wanted to know more trolls. They interested him to no end, they all had such different attitudes and quirks. He had made it a personal goal to have a conversation with each and every one of them, much to his best bro’s objection. 

Jade had already sent messages about a new troll she had met. He apparently had a feisty attitude, a sailor-mouth, and was “Just the cutest little thing with candy corn horns I’ve ever seen!!!!” 

He was already thrilled.

“Everyone’s gonna be here soon. Are you just going to be a douchey wallflower again, Strider?” John smirked and looked over at the blonde, who had already taken his place on the wall. 

“You know me. I like to get well acquainted with these damn walls. Much easier to grind on, you know? You’re all going to think I’m just loungin’ around, but nope. I’ve been getting busy with your damned wall all night. Gonna put a Strider baby in that thing.” He said this without losing his stoic façade, not even looking up from his phone. Or did he? Egbert didn’t ever know what he was looking at with those damn shades on.

He heard a scoff and looked over. “You are most certainly not. I’d hate for my niece or nephew to be half plaster. Besides, this is an important night. All royalty will be here, including my fiancé, and it would do you good to socialize more. Maybe put your lips on something else besides a bottle of apple juice for once.” Rose Lalonde’s black lips were pursed, the girl shooting daggers at Dave with her eyes. “Jade is almost here anyways with Kanaya and some… intriguing boy.” She slipped her phone in her purse and looked over at John. 

“Are you sure you’re fine with having all the trolls here? If I’m not mistaken, The Makaras and the Amporas are on the brink of war again. This would be the third time this year.” She wrinkled her nose at the thought of their booming voices screaming at each other from across the ballroom. 

“You guys worry too much! Geez, loosen up. Jade and I seem to be the only two excited about it.” John pouted. “Besides, it’s too late to back out now. Look, there’s a few already here! It’s Jade, Kanaya, and...The other guy!” He rushed to the door, shooing off a butler. John wanted to greet them first. He got a little excited and wind began to blow throughout the castle, helping him swing the giant double doors open. 

“Hello and welcome!” He called out loudly, watching as jade rushed from her seat with her dog, barely giving her driver enough time to open her door. His blue eyes fell upon the two troll families the followed behind her, beaming at them happily. The wind picked up harder. It blew Karkat’s hair around, and the mutant blood squeezed his brother’s wrist tightly. 

“Welcome to the Beta Lands! Kingdom of Wind!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I didn't think this would be received so well. Thank you so much. I'm sorry that this chapter didn't have too much action, I do have to set things up after all! Thank you for reading!

“I’m not so sure about this.” Karkat sighed as he fiddled with his tie. His nerves were all over the place. How would he even approach anyone with his situation?

_“Hey would you mind marrying me so that my kingdom doesn’t go to complete shit? I know we’re poor and all, and it would barely benefit you, but if you could keep my ass out of the gutter, that would be fan-fucking-tastic.”_

Jesus fuck it was hot in this car.

His older brother could sense his distress, and tried to comfort him. “Karkat you need to relax. I understand that this situation is less that desirable, but try to lighten up! There will be multiple personalities there, I’m certain that you’ll meet someone you like.” Kankri always tried to look on the brighter side of things. It was almost like he refused to be put down by any hard situation. Karkat found it nauseating.

“So I’m supposed to find the love of my life in one night?” He folded his arms and stared out the window, his black brows knitted together in frustration.

“You know marriages among lowbloods are rarely ever about feelings. We can’t afford the time to find a soulmate. We’re too busy surviving.” Kankri scooted closer to him, forcing his younger brother into a hug. “But who could resist you?” Kankri snickered and pinched Karkat’s cheeks. The smaller troll growled and tried to push him away, but to no avail. “Look at how cute you are! My little brother will simply have all of those dreadful highbloods swooning at the mere sight of you!” He said this dramatically, waving his arms and tickling along Karkat’s ribs.

Karkat tried his best to keep up his composure, but Kankri’s fingers drew the laughter straight out of him. “Stop it, Kankri! We all fucking know I’ll probably get stuck with Pyrope forever, or worse, Sollux.” He came down from the giggles and smoothed out the front of his suit.

Kankri had to bite his tongue to refrain from lecturing him on his language, again. The elder troll rolled his eyes, flicking Karkat on the forehead. “Then you’ll be damned to an eternity with a man who will pay most of his attention to bees and computers. Or a girl who will lick you often. Really Karkat, I can’t see the downside to either of those.” Kankri smiled and dismissed the huff Karkat let out, bumping him with his shoulder. “Hey, no matter how it turns out…You can do it. I know you can. And you’ll have my full support alright? Just don’t let anyone pressure you into anything.”

Karkat opened his mouth, but the car stopped. “Oh. We made it.” He could already feel his body going numb. Kankri had to practically pull him out of the car, Karkat’s limbs feeling like they were just gone all of a sudden.

The sound of doors swinging open snapped Karkat out of his trance, his eyes now locked on the boy who was smiling bigly at them. He grabbed onto Kankri’s wrist when the wind picked up. Ironically, it felt like he couldn’t breathe. Even with all of this wind surrounding him. The elder troll pulled him forward, whispering comforts into his ear. He watched as Kanaya and her family greeted the young King, the boy looking like he was about to explode with glee.

His blue eyes fell on the Vantas’, and he was over in a rush of wind, way too close, and way too cheerful.

“Hi! I’m the King of this place! But I’d much rather you call me John. I hate technical titles! It feels too serious, don’t you agree?” He was right in Karkat’s face, his tan fingers moving to poke at one of the troll’s horns. “Wow, yours are pretty…small! I haven’t seen horns this small before. But then again, you’re probably the shortest troll I’ve ever seen! Jade told me about you already, she said you were pretty mouthy. What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue?”

Karkat was already agitated. This kid was already invading his personal space, especially by toughing his horns without permission. Now he was criticizing how much he spoke? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. The lowblood huffed. “You’re quite the fucking motor mouth yourself.”

Kankri’s hand covered Karkat’s mouth in record time, the elder laughing nervously. “I’m so sorry. He seems to get a little trigger-happy with his curses! I’m sure he meant no disrespect.” His grip on Karkat tightened, and he spoke through his teeth. “ _Right_ , Karkat?”

John began to laugh, his volume the same as Jade’s. “Oh, its fine! Dave is the only one who talks like that around here, so it’s a breath of fresh air! Everyone gets too scared you know? Being all uptight and boring. I like you already, Karkat! Feel free to make yourself at home. Don’t worry about your mouth around me.”

Okay, so maybe we wasn’t so bad. He was around Karkat’s age, after all. Karkat wouldn’t want everyone else being so uptight and formal around him all the time either when he was crowned. It made him feel a little better about being her, but of course he’d never admit that to them.

Kankri pushed Karkat forward, and held John back. “If you don’t mind, King Egbert-“

“John! Just John.” He interrupted him. If it were anyone else, they’d get a twelve hour lecture. But Kankri couldn’t afford John dismissing him and refusing to listen to him later on.

“..Yes, John. I’d like to speak with you privately for a moment. Princess Kanaya is informing Princess Rose, but I wanted to come to you personally about this situation, if you have the time to spare.” He glanced over at his brother. “Go ahead inside, I’ll meet you in a moment.”

John nodded, leading Kankri to a side door. “Of course! I’ll take you to a private room so we won’t have to worry about prying ears. Karkat, can you put Dave on greeting duty? Tell him I sent you. He’s the one with the shades, can’t miss him! It’ll get his ass off my walls for a few minutes. I look forward to having a conversation with you later!” He waved goodbye, practically yanking Kankri into a door, the wind pushing it shut.

Karkat stood there for a moment before walking up the steps and going in. The interior was huge, the tall walls were done in a soft baby blue and outlined with white, and murals of wind were painted on the ceiling. A giant chandelier loomed over the room as well. It looked so...regal. Different from Karkat’s home. When he stepped his, his foot tapped against the black and white marble that was the floor.

There were only a handful of humans there, and only he and Kanaya’s family had arrived so far. He was glad for that. He’d die if he had to have a run in with Pyrope this early. He scanned the room for Kanaya, spotting her close to a wall. She was chatting with a tall blonde girl, who he recognized as her fiancé. There was another blonde human there as well. It had to be Dave. He was the only one with sunglasses on, after all. The troll walked as quietly up to the trio as possible. At least as quietly as the marble allowed. Rose saw him though, and turned towards him.

“Oh, you must be the Vantas Heir, Kanaya was just informing me about your…predicament. I’ve offered my services to help you with this task. Lucky for you, it’s free. But that’s because my darling Kanaya asked so sincerely.” She smiled down at him, sticking out her hand. “You do however owe me. A favor if you will. I’ll call for you when I’m ready to cash it in.”

Straight and forward, to the point. Of course this was the woman Kanaya fell for.

Karkat looked behind her shoulder at the sound of a chuckle.

“Damn Rose, you’re already scaring the kid.” Dave peeled himself from the wall, brushing Roses’ hand aside and sticking out his own. “Names’ Dave. Dave Strider. Prince of Time.” The chandelier reflected in his sunglasses. Why the hell was he wearing them inside? It was nighttime as well. Karkat wasn’t so sure about this one.

Karkat was slightly aggravated. He had only been here for five minutes and he was already in debt with Lalonde. He didn’t know how to respond to her, so he nodded shortly and turned to Dave, taking his hand. “Karkat Vantas. Prince of Blood. John told me to inform you that you’re on greeting duty until he gets back.”

“Are you serious? I’m killing that blue son of a bitch when he gets back. Nice to meet you though, Kitkat” Dave sighed and put his phone in his pocket, heading to the door.

“It’s Karkat.” Dave stopped.

“Yeah, sure, Karkitten.” This infuriated him deeply.

Karkat couldn’t blame him about hating being on greeting duty, though. Greeting trolls was the worst. Especially the highbloods. He almost felt sorry for the guy, if he wasn’t so obnoxious already.

He looked over at Kanaya. “And how the hell have you already put me in debt with your fiancé? I could’ve done this on my own, you know.”

Kanaya lent him an apologetic look, cupping his face. “Darling, we both know that if it were up to you, you won’t talk to a single person here. I’m just trying to help you. I don’t have enough money to financially support your kingdom. I won’t let you sleep in a gutter, nor your people.” This softened his heart.

Rose wrapped an arm around Karkat, pressing her lips to his cheek so that a black stain was left. “Besides, it won’t be bad. Kanaya won’t let me put you in any dangerous situations. If all works well, I’ll be knocking out two birds with one stone tonight.” She winked and released him, walking to where Dave went.

The red blood gave a questioning look towards Kanaya, who only shrugged in response. “You’ll come to learn that she works in mysterious ways. She even confused me for the greatest amount of time. But it’s all part of her charm. That’s why I fell in love with her.” Kanaya’s eyes lingered on Rose, a look in her eyes that Karkat wished he could experience. He didn’t have time to comb through his “choices” like she did. He only had tonight.

“I’m going to go over and socialize with Rose and the arriving trolls for a little bit, will you be alright here? You know Dave is dead meat alone up there.”

Karkat nodded, waving her off. “Yeah, go have fun with your fiancé. I’ll be busy anyways trying to find one myself.” He gave her a nervous smile. He wanted to do this, he really did. It was just hard. How could he convince someone to tie themselves to him in just one night?

Kanaya kissed his cheek, and used her thumb to wipe off Rose’s lipstick. “If you need me at all, don’t hesitate to come find me.” With that, she was off. And Karkat was alone.

That feeling of his breath leaving his lungs was coming back again. He walked over to a wall and pressed his back against it, trying to steady himself. _“Stop being such a child. She just left. You will survive a few minutes on your own.”_ He repeated these words to himself mentally, closing his eyes to try to focus.

A tongue working its way up his face broke his concentration.

“What in the actual _FUCK_.” A sharp cackle was the response, and Karkat instantly knew who it was. “I should’ve known it was your weird ass, Terezi.” He wiped the side of his face off, smearing the remaining slobber back onto the blind girl.

“Hey, is that anyway to treat royalty, karcrab?” She snickered, using her sleeve to clean off her own face.

“Oh fuck off, just because you’re higher on the hemospectrum doesn’t mean jack shit to me.” Karkat watched as a couple more families drug in behind the pyropes’, Dave uncomfortably greeting them all. “Did you see that human? He’s apparently the Prince of Time or some shit. Pretty fucking aggravating. He refused to say my name correctly.”

Terezi nodded, looking over her shoulder. “Yeah, I’ve already gotten aquatinted with him.” She picked her voice up, yelling across the large ballroom. “Isn’t that right, Coolkid?” Dave’s shoulder twitched in response, he didn’t turn around. “He smells nice! All candy red, kinda like you. Only more appley.”

“That’s not even a word you idiot.” Karkat rolled his eyes while Terezi cackled again. They had met at a young age, so the two were pretty close. The redblood had a crush on her at one point, but he had fucked that up pretty well. Even still, they couldn’t drop contact. They enjoyed each other’s company too much. Besides, lowbloods needed all the connections they could get, and the Pyrope family was a good one to have.

“I think Kanaya said that he’s Rose’s brother.” Which meant he’d be seeing a lot more of him if he was around Kanaya. Even if he was grating to the nerves, Karkat wanted to leave a positive impression on them. Maybe if he did they’d talk about how great his kingdom was. Maybe more people would move there, and the economy would improve.

Maybe he wouldn’t have to get married.

“Earth to Karcrab, Come in Karcrab.” Terezi snapped her fingers in front of his face, and Karkat pushed her hand away.

“Fuck, sorry, I spaced out.” He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling.

“You okay? You seem stressed. There anything on your mind that you wanna vent about? Egbert has like, 10,000 balconies. We can sneak away for a bit if you need to.” Her brows were drawn up in concern.

Karkat thought about it for a moment. He could tell her. He could ask her if she’d be willing. Living with Terezi wouldn’t be that bad. A little wetter and louder than he’d like, but he could bear through that. For his people. Fuck, he felt sick again.

He looked up to see Kankri walking towards him, a small, proud smile on his lips. Terezi’s nose was instantly upon him, her eyes widening and a huge smile breaking across her face.

“Look at you, Kan! Pretty bold of you to be wearing all this red. The highblood is totally gonna flip his lid when he sees you. I definitely want to see that conversation when it happens. Sadly Karkat is in that smoky grey as usual. He’s still handsome though.” Her fingers ran over the red seams to his suit. “I’d lick you, but I don’t want to ruin the suit.” She pouted a bit, pulling away from him.

Kankri nodded, smoothing out his suit. “If you don’t mind, I need to pull my brother away for a moment. I have something important to tell him, I’m sure you’ll hear about it later. Don’t give me that look, Pyrope. Also, I think the punch is red. Go have fun.” Terezi began to protest, but Kankri took Karkat by the hand and began pulling him away. Terezi shrugged and made her way over to the punch bowl.

“What’s going on?” Karkat asked once out of earshot.

“I told John about our predicament, so he and Rose are arranging someone for you. They both know all of the Royal personalities, and they both claim to know just the person for you. I assume we’ll be informed of who soon, so that you can begin talking with them.” He smiled down at his brother.

Karkat almost couldn’t believe it. He was getting set up? Just that easily? “So… it should be smooth sailing then?”

Kankri’s smile faltered. “Well, yes and no. It’s only ‘Smooth sailing’ if they agree to it. If not, we have to figure out something else, and quick. So don’t stop looking. Hopefully you two click, and then I will propose an arrangement with their guardian.”

It sounded easy enough. Kankri left to get busy talking to the other Elder trolls. He still had to make sure Karkat was in a secure position if this failed for them. The set up wasn’t a guarantee, only a shred of hope for them. Karkat caught a glimpse of blue, and the smell of fresh air. John must be near.

“Hey! I just figured I’d ask how you’re doing. I can’t imagine how nervous you must be right now. Your brother told me about your situation, so I’ve volunteered to be your official wingman for tonight! We don’t have much time, so let’s go!” Much too cheery. It would take a lot for Karkat to fully get used to him.

“You know it’s not really any of your business. You don’t have to do this.” Karkat bit the inside of his mouth. Kankri would kill him if he made John mad, but Karkat couldn’t stand having someone else in his affairs. Even Rose was pushing it to him.

John rolled his eyes behind his thick, square glasses. “Uh, duh. That’s why I said Volunteer.” He tugged on Karkat’s wrist, dragging him through the crowd of trolls and humans.

“I’m not a fucking wriggler you know, I can walk on my own.” Karkat tried to yank free from John’s grip, but damn, that boy didn’t loosen up.

“I know that, we just don’t have time for distractions. Rose would kill me if we break her schedule.” He mumbled the last part, obviously not enjoying the rigorous schedule that Rose had put in motion for their plan.

“I-“Karkat began, but he stopped when he was suddenly yanked from behind. John whipped his head around, his blue eyes glued to the hand that had a hold of Karkat’s collar.

“Let me go before I rip your fucking arm off, I don’t give a shit about the color of your blood, but don’t fucking touch me without permission you creep.” Karkat tried to pull away, but the arm pulled back harder, pulling the smaller troll into a chest.

“You’re still spoutin’ them motherfuckin’ profanities I see.”

Karkat looked up to give the longest rant of his life, only to be shut up by his own shock.

He hadn’t seen that face in ages.

“How’s it goin’, my motherfuckin’ best friend?”

“…Hey, Gamzee.”


	3. Chapter 3

The first time Karkat had seen Gamzee Makara, he was at the end of his second solar sweep. The Makara’s had come to their kingdom, the Highblood curious of the ‘ _mutantblood_ ’ kingdom. They couldn’t refuse him, the kingdom wasn’t strong enough to defend themselves if he decided to wage war on them.

The youngest Makara was already into the custom of face paint, his face painted white, contrasting his dark grey skin. Gamzee was pretty mean for a kid, taking every opportunity to trip or push Karkat. Kankri had asked him to be patient and respectful, they couldn’t risk the boy throwing a tantrum and hurting someone, or causing war.

 Kurloz was Gamzee’s older brother. He looked scarier than Gamzee, dressing up in a skeleton outfit with purple shorts. Kurloz didn’t speak much, mainly ‘Honk’ noises. He had his fun taunting the older Vantas brother. Karkat swore he had never seen Kankri get as mad as he did when Kurloz would make an indecent gesture to him. Kurloz would get Kankri flustered, and Kankri would go off on a long rant.

Karkat tried to be good. He really did. It took Gamzee badmouthing his father, using the profanity “assblood” to describe him. The small troll had mustered all of his strength and punched Gamzee in his nose, rich purple blood spewing out. Gamzee was stunned, holding his nose and looking at the angry troll before him. Kurloz looked ready to kill him, but Gamzee had stopped him. He was shaking with laughter.

The clown smiled widely, holding a hand out to Karkat.

“Wanna be best friends?”

After that, they had quickly became moirails. Gamzee would come over and paint Karkat’s face, and Karkat would teach Gamzee about the stories of the man who had inspired his father. The original signless. He had existed and dies in a more brutal time. Growing up in different kingdoms with different ideals made it difficult for them. It got tougher when Gamzee began to eat Sopor. He was high and incoherent most of the time, which made it hard for the two to communicate properly. He was also delving deeper into his culture, which was opposite from Karkat’s. The relationship slowly began wearing down. When the Grand Highblood announced that Gamzee would be the one to take over, they were finally ripped apart for good.

Even though the moiraillegance was in rocky condition before, the break up still hurt. He missed having someone to rant to who wouldn’t chastise him for cursing. Karkat had only hoped that Gamzee would be nicer to lowbloods when he took over. He used to be quadranted to one, after all.

It had been a few seeps since then, and Karkat hadn’t heard much about the clown.

But here he was, his long fingers tangled up in Karkat’s collar.

  
“Hey, motherfucker.”

“Hey...” He really didn’t know what to say. How do you greet someone you haven’t spoken to in years?

John didn’t have time for this less than sappy reunion, tugging on Karkat’s sleeve. “Not to break up the bro time, but we _really_ need to get going. Rose will have my ass if we’re late.”

Gamzee didn’t release him, instead he copied John’s action by tugging Karkat back. “’S a party isn’t it? Let a motherfucker live a little with his best friend.” His purple eyes dropped down to Karkat.

“I heard about your little issue.” Damn his voice was deep. Had it really been that long?

“I don’t have any fucking issues, but I am in the middle of something important. So if it wouldn’t be too much of a task for your Royal ass, can you let me go?” He pulled away from both boys, straightening out his suit. “John’s right, I have something I need to take care of right now. But I’ll catch up to you later alright?” His expression softened. Karkat had always hated how Gamzee could open up his heart so easily. He just didn’t have it in him to hurt the guy. “I missed you, you idiot. You should’ve dropped by or something.”

Gamzee chuckled, the noise sounding much deeper than it had been sweeps ago. He shook his head, looking back at Karkat. “Can’t let you do that. Got people whispering all kinds of gospel in my ears about you. Took the fuckin’ highbloods by surprise. The Grand Highblood himself has promised something real miraculous to me if I can get you.”

John grabbed Karkat, pulling him back. He forced a smile at Gamzee, making sure to put some distance in between them. “So sorry, but our time is up.” His voice came out grated, practically spitting acid at the Highblood. “His _fiancé_ is waiting on him.”

“Now we both know that’s a motherfuckin’ LIE.” Gamzee’s demeanor had changed quickly, his voice loud. It was nothing like the dopey voice that Karkat was accustomed to. He was actually pretty terrifying we he got loud. “We both know that’s exactly why he’s here. Fishin’ out for a motherfucker to save his ass from being face first in the dirt.” The clown took a couple of steps forward. John tightened his grip on Karkat, ready to abscond at any moment.

“I got whatever you need. Just say the word and it’s done. I’ll give you time to think it over.”

Gamzee didn’t have to, because John was already hauling ass with Karkat in tow. “Damn. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.” His blue eyes darted across the room. “And now he’s _gone_. That little-“John sighed, releasing the troll.

“I’m sorry, Karkat. Tonight must be awful for you. But if you could, stay close so I can find Rose. We can still set you two up. I don’t want to leave you with Makara as your only option.”

Karkat noticed how John’s expression changed when talking to or about Gamzee. He obviously hated him. The troll couldn’t blame him though, Gamzee had always been selfish. Taking what he wanted and apologizing to no one. But that privilege came with the royal blood.

“Yeah I… I think I’m going to go get some fresh air and think.” Gamzee’s proposal had happened so quick, it was hard to process.

John nodded, giving him a sympathetic look. “Don’t force yourself into anything that makes you uncomfortable. I just want you to meet this one, I don’t want you to feel as if he’s the only one, alright? After this-“John put his hand over his heart. “I promise I won’t meddle in your business anymore. But seriously, Rose will filet me if I don’t do her this favor.”

Karkat nodded. John turned on his heel with a confident look, raising up above a few people to scout out Rose.

The troll went upstairs to go to the balconies. He stepped onto it, inhaling the chilly air. He closed his eyes to count to ten, taking in deep breaths with each count. When he was done, Karkat walked over to the edge of the balcony to lean on the stone ledge.

“Decided to dip out early huh?”

Karkat nearly jumped out of his skin.

“What the fuck, you almost made me piss my fucking pants.” He put a hand over his heart, feeling the organ beat fast with adrenaline. He turned to the source of the voice.

Oh, it was just that dick who wears shades at all times. Nice.

“Sorry dude, didn’t wanna interrupt your breathing.” Dave flashed a small smile, holding his hand up and giving a small wave. He took a sip out of his juice box, putting it down on the ledge beside him.

“Fuck off, tonight’s already been god awful for me. I don’t need the guy drinking out of a juice box for toddlers and wearing shades at night to be judging my breathing.” Karkat rand his hand through his hair.

“Woah woah, no need to get all defensive. I understand that hunting for some fine ass you’ll have around forever can be tough. You just gotta learn how to scope it out properly, you know?” Dave leaned on the spot next to him. “But really, I know it’s probably hard for you. Any takers yet?”

Karkat scoffed, looking over at him. “I don’t know why I’m fucking talking to you, but Gamzee Makara offered. I’m not so sure on it, though. We used to know each other, but… I don’t think I could marry the guy. Besides, I’d more than likely get brainwashed by his pathetic juggalo excuse for a family.” Karkat shuddered at the thought of having the chucklevoodoos used on him. He had seen it in action before, it wasn’t pretty.

“Yeah, I guess I can see the downside of it. What about that Terezi chick? You two seem close. She spoke to me a little bit, real cool girl. She likes to lick a lot though.” Dave rubbed his cheek, he had obviously been another victim of hers as well.

“Terezi is so flushed for Vriska it’s almost pathetic. She’d be cool with marrying me, but she would never be happy. I couldn’t do that to her.” Karkat sat down on the floor of the balcony. He didn’t care about the condition of his suit anymore. Kanaya would have a few words to him about it later.

Dave finished off the juice, the box making an obnoxious noise when it was drained. He just kept _sucking_.

Karkat groaned. “It’s obviously empty, fuckhead. Get a new one.”

Dave laughed. “Yeah, just gotta make sure to get every last drop of this fine ass elixir.” Dave mainly drank it because it was familiar, comforting. He held onto the box, but moved down to sit beside Karkat. “So, what’s it like in your kingdom? Rose said you guys were pretty diverse, which is rare for trolls.”

“Yeah, we accept all blood colors. Most kingdoms just try to stick with their main color. Any others are looked down upon. We try to keep it equal.”

“Cool. Equality’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Yep.”

Silence.

Karkat glanced over at him. “Do you ever take off your shades? You’ve been wearing them all night.”

Dave shook his head. “Nope. None of my outfits are complete without them. Gotta keep up that mysterious bad boy look, gets all the ladies going.”

“You look like a prick.”

Dave laughed, a little louder than last time. “Do you ever get tired of insulting people, kitkat?”

“ _Karkat_.”

“Yeah, KitKat”

“Fuck off.” Karkat scooted over, putting more distance between the two. “I came outside to get away with bullshit, but I ran into a damn headache.”

“Twenty bucks says I’m the best damn headache you’ve ever ran into.” Dave smiled again, his teeth showing white in the moonlight.

“Are you flirting with me?”

The question caught Dave by surprise, his smile faltering for a second. “What? Dude, no. Of course not. I’d rather not get beaten to death by a jealous clown.” He pulled out another juice box.

Karkat raised a brow in confusion. Where did he even get that from?

Karkat dismissed it and shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t think anyone does. But…he would bring in money, and attention. That’s really what we need. But I’m afraid that we wouldn’t be able to allow blood colors to mix together so freely anymore. In all honesty, it’s probably just a tactic to ruin what my father made for us. But I’m at the point, I don’t have much of a choice.” He looked back at the door to the balcony, a determined look on his face. “But I don’t have to give into that. Do you think I could marry him and still protect the morals and customs of my people?”

Dave had listened to his ramble. It seemed like the guy was just trying to convince himself. If Dave was honest, he wasn’t so sure that someone like Karkat could just flip the hemospectrum caste over that easily. Even the humans were mildly terrified of the Grand Highblood and his crew. “I can root for you, but it’ll be hard to change his ways that easily. I mean, the guy is pretty racist, Hemophobic- whatever. So is his family, and citizens. It will be hard changing that. Are you sure you want to risk failure?”

Karkat looked him in the eye. Dave felt vulnerable, even with the shades. “Yes. I have to. I want to. I’m willing to do anything for my brother, for my people, for the opportunities we have. I’m willing to go through whatever hell I need to for it. That’s what a leader does.”

 The blonde sighed. “You’re a pretty stubborn guy. So there’s a chance that you could. You’ll just have to be tough with it. Just be careful, those highbloods are rough. I wouldn’t take him as a first choice.”

Karkat stood up, dusting himself off. “Yeah, I can do it. I can definitely take up for my people. I have to.” He started walking back into the castle.

“Where are you going?” Dave stood up, stretching himself out.

“I’m going to accept it.”

“Wait, seriously? Hold on, can’t they mind control people? That’s pretty concerning dude.” Dave looked at the troll. He looked confident. Like he knew that he could do this.

“Yeah, but I’ll kick his ass if he tries.” He smiled a little, looking nervous. “What was your name again..? Strider, wasn’t it? Thanks for listening. I feel better about this whole shitshow.” Karkat left, going off to look for Gamzee.

Dave didn’t know what to say. The guy was around his age, and was already sacrificing himself for the hope of his people’s success. What if they didn’t make it? What if Gamzee took control and ruined all chances of equality among the Zodiacs entirely? It made Dave a little nervous for him. It stirred up a different feeling in him.

John popped his head in the door. “Dave! I’ve been looking for you. Have you seen Karkat?”

“Yeah he…just left.” He pushed his shades up, letting them push back his hair. Dave looked over at John. “John. He’s gonna marry Makara. If you’re setting him up, you better do it fast.”

The Blue King laughed nervously. “Ah yeah, here's the thing. Rose was trying to set you up with him. I suppose it didn’t work out did it? Well, at- Dave? Where are you going?”

“I’ve got to go.”

The Blonde almost ran past him, searching out for a certain pair of shades in the crowd. Spotting the obnoxious Orange suit, Dave wasted no time getting to him. He got a few nasty looks from a few trolls, but he had to be quick. He made sure to shield his eyes with his shades before his brother could see him.

“Hey Dirk. I need something from you.”

His older brother looked at him from behind the triangle shades. “Yeah, sure thing. What is it?”

“You still keep Mom’s wedding ring on you, right? I need it, like right now.” Dave was ready to go. He didn’t even know this kid, and yet he was ready to drop his bachelor life for him on spot. Dave didn’t feel comfortable knowing that Karkat would be tying himself to a guy like Gamzee. It couldn’t end well. And Dave could change that. He couldn’t rest knowing that he could. Since tonight was his only night, it was do or die.

“What do you need it for?” A blonde eyebrow rose above his shades.

He really didn’t have time for this. “I’ll explain everything in like…15 minutes! Just give me the ring, please.”

Dirk hadn’t seen Dave so frantic in a while. He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out the ring. He had kept it on him ever since their mother had passed. Granted, he had to steal it from his father. But he wanted to keep something to remind him of her. “Don’t lose it.” As soon as Dirk handed it to him, Dave dashed off.

It didn’t take long for the blonde to spot Karkat, the troll slowly making his way over to Gamzee.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” Dave whispered to himself. “Fuck.”

He took off almost in a sprint, having to cross the massive ballroom in just a few seconds. “Hey, Karkat!”

The troll’s head snapped towards him, confusion written all across his face. A few trolls and humans had turned their way, including Gamzee. “ _And all of my fucking family.”_ Dave screamed to himself in his head.

Once he arrived a couple feet away from the troll, Dave Strider slammed on one knee so hard it hurt. He was panting a little from both the run and adrenaline, holding out the ring with one hand. He had a death grip on the poor apple juice box in the other. Thank god it was empty.  

“So dude, me and you, let’s do it. Let’s get hitched. Let’s get married.”

Karkat looked at him for a few seconds, obviously in shock. The room was quiet, all Dave could hear was his heart pounding in his head.

The troll began angrily whispering at him, his eyes darting across the room. It seemed like everyone had turned around to watch. “You still have that stupid juice box in one hand, you’re panting and you look ridiculous, I-“

“Just say yes or no.”

It felt like an eternity before Karkat opened his mouth.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh I feel like this chapter was so rushed, but I had to rewrite it three times before I was alright with it.  
> I'm hoping to be able to update every Friday, if my schedule allows. I'm not sure if i should make a separate blog that deals with my writings a such, so for now my tumblr is shy-gh0sts. I'll post there if i plan on delaying a chapter.  
> Thank you all for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey i'm really sorry that I haven't updated in a while! Life, you know? The next couple of chapters will be mostly backstory plot and then,, fluff finally comes. I feel like it's taking forever but this is supposed to be kind of long so!

A few heartbeats after his acceptance, Karkat was drug away by a frantic Kankri. The elder troll pushed his way through the sea of peering eyes, desperate to find privacy for themselves. Kankri found this in a nearby bathroom. He shut the door and locked it behind them, trying to keep his voice low in case of eavesdroppers.

“Karkat, I don’t even know where to begin with you.” Kankri closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his exhale was shaky. He spoke through his teeth. “How do you know him?”

Normally Karkat would blow his brother off. He wanted to. For fucks sake, he found a spouse. And it was a _Beta._ The Vantas’ were practically set if all went well. Karkat had scored way better than he ever dreamed he would have. So why was Kankri so upset?

“I met him on the balcony. I kind of…vented to him I guess. More or less rambled to him and worked things out with myself.” Karkat broke eye contact with Kankri. “I was actually on my way to accept Gamzee’s proposal when he stopped me. I mean, fuck, he’s a beta Kankri. I couldn’t say no to him! It was either that or a first class ticket to faygo clown-cult city.”

Karkat looked back at his brother, but he wished he hadn’t have. It was hard to pin Kankri’s expression. It was a mix of frustration, panic, and knowing all at the same time. He looked pitiful.

After Kankri gathered his thoughts, he spoke. “I can’t say that Gamzee would have been a better choice. I know it would have been worse, actually, if you were married to him. But he’s a _Strider_ , Karkat. I know you’re not old enough to remember it, but I do. I don’t want…” He stopped himself. Kankri was struggling with his words, which was a rare occurrence. “I just think we need some time. I’d like you two to get acquainted before we set a date on anything. I want to make sure that you’ll be safe.”

Kankri cupped Karkat’s face, forcing the smaller troll to make eye contact with him. “I can’t lose you. I know this all seems like a hassle, but it’s all to make sure you’ll be safe when I’m gone.” He had tears in his eyes.

Karkat’s brows knotted in confusion. Just what the hell was so scary about the Strider family that put Kankri this much on edge? The smaller troll opened his mouth, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

An unfamiliar voice came from the other side. “Hey, not to get in the middle of whatever lecture you’re giving in there, but I think you guys need to come out so we can talk about this… arrangement.”

Kankri huffed, letting go of Karkat. “Let me do most of the talking, alright?” Karkat nodded, straightening himself up as Kankri unlocked and opened the bathroom door.

A blonde male stood in the doorframe, a pair of triangle shaped glasses on his face. He looked down at a clearly aggravated Kankri before looking back at Karkat. He could only assume that he and Dave were related.

“Alright, so are we holding this meeting here or should we move to somewhere with less urine?” A small smirk played at his otherwise stoic face. Definitely related.

Kankri visibly bristled. “I suppose we should go ahead and get this over with. Where do you have in mind?”

The blonde cracked a full on smile, pushing his glasses up to rest in his wild hair. Karkat immediately noticed the color of his eyes. They were bright orange. “I’d say let’s ditch the party, but I’m sure whatever place I suggest wouldn’t be up to your standards, Kan. How about you lead us somewhere?”

“There’s no reason to be rude and leave early. Your brother has already caused enough of a scene as it is. I’m sure if we ask, King John would be more than happy to offer us a study or a billiard room of some sort.” Kankri looked at him bitterly. “Not every conference has to take place in a bar, Dirk.”

“Discussing the wedding of our brothers over a game of pool? That sounds pretty nice, actually. I knew there was an ounce of cool under all that hard-ass in you. How about loser team has to pay, huh?”

Kankri’s face got red. “You’re such a child! This is serious, Dirk. This is more than _just a wedding_ , if you don’t mind, ugh, I’m sorry if what I’m about to say comes off as offensive, but-“

“Woah, whoa, chill man, we don’t need a Vantas rant right now. Take a breath and let’s go find King John, okay? Besides, if we stand here any longer I think a line is gonna form.” Dirk slid his glass back over his eyes, his face getting serious. Kankri took another breath, looking back at Karkat. “Stay close. I’ll be right back to get you.”

Dirk turned from the doorframe, Kankri moving after him. Dirk looked over at Dave, who had apparently been staying out of sight for the conversation. “Keep ‘im company.” Dirk’s head turned towards Karkat, who still hadn’t moved from his spot in the bathroom. “Might as well get to know each other a little better, huh? Try not to kill each other till we get back. I’m Dirk, Dave’s older brother by the way. It’s nice to see you again.” Karkat was confused. Again? Karkat couldn’t remember meeting him before tonight. Kankri mumbled something and pushed the taller blonde forward. He shot an apologetic look towards Karkat, and they were sucked into the crowd of people.

Karkat stepped out of the bathroom, looking over towards Dave. He couldn’t tell whether or not he was looking back at him. _‘Stupid fucking glasses.’_ He thought. The blonde didn’t move, or suggest in any way that he was going to initiate a conversation with Karkat. The troll chewed on the inside of his lip. He directed his attention elsewhere, letting the question fall out of his mouth. “So… why did you do it?”

Karkat didn’t look back over at him. He kept his eyes locked on the baby blue murals painted on the ceiling. He was starting to get sucked into the wispy clouds and muses when he finally heard Dave’s voice.

“Dunno man. Felt like I had to.” Karkat looked over at him. Dave was clearly uncomfortable. His arms were crossed, and he was picking at the seams of his suit.

“But you didn’t. You could’ve kept your nose in your own business and my spousal choices would have affected you, let’s say, ah yeah... None.”

“Yeah? You didn’t have to accept it either. But you did.” Karkat was certain that he was making eye contact with him through the obnoxious sunglasses. Dave’s voice was borderline hostile. Karkat couldn’t really blame him. “I don’t see the point in acting like it was a shitty outcome. You didn’t wanna marry that weird ass clown, and I felt bad seeing you willing to marry into a cult for your people. So I offered myself up and gave you a way out of that. You snatched up the opportunity like a hot steak off the grill.”

The troll didn’t have a smart remark to throw back at him. He couldn’t deny that Dave was a better option than the cult he would have been throwing himself into. Gamzee was nice to hang around, but Karkat knew he couldn’t remain sane in the lifestyle his family indulged in.

For once, Karkat swallowed his pride. He nearly chocked on it. “Sorry. It’s just… It’s not a secret that my family had to claw our way just to get to where we are. So it’s a little skeptical when someone is willing to marry into us, you know?” If Karkat’s father hadn’t have found those texts, they wouldn’t be anywhere at all. “But I am thankful. You’ve saved my ass even though we just met.”

Karkat looked over at Dave, whose expression was unreadable. Mainly due to the huge sunglasses that hid his features. “It’s no big deal. I’ll be happy to be out of my place, honestly.”

The troll lifted a brow. “What? Why would you-“

“Hey, John said it was alright to use one of his billiard rooms.” Karkat jumped, he hadn’t seen Dirk coming towards him. How had he gotten so close without the troll noticing? Karkat heard Dave snickering, a feeling of aggravation bubbling in the troll.

Kankri held up a key. “He said that it’s on the third floor, so there should be plenty of privacy. We have a lot of ground to cover before we can fully agree on this engagement, so I don’t want to waste any time tonight. Let’s go ahead and go up.”

The four males made their way up the winding steps. Kankri lead them with his fast pace, Karkat close behind them. The Striders’ seemed to be keeping up well, but they stayed a few steps behind. Every once in a while Karkat could hear them whispering to each other. Kankri stopped suddenly in front of a door.

“This should be it.” Kankri slid the key in and unlocked it, the four quickly going into the room. The walls were green, matching the color of the billiard table itself. Striped and Solid balls were in the middle of the table, already set up for a game. There were several pool sticks lined on the walls, along with chalk. A huge window took up most of one wall, the curtains drawn so that the night sky was visible.

Kankri was the first to break the silence. “So, I believe that it is essential for Karkat to know your family history before he agrees to anything.”

“Are we really going to go balls deep with that tonight?” Dirk looked at him. Both Striders’ looked uncomfortable.

“Yes.” Kankri snapped. “He has the right to know what he is marrying into. Of course, I’ll tell you ours as well. If we’re going to be closely aquatinted from now on, we should at least know each other’s history. Besides, Dave and Karkat will need to know this information anyways if they do decide to get married.”

Dirk was silent for a moment, but he nodded. “Yeah. You’re right.” He sighed and sat on the edge of the table. He motioned at Karkat to sit down, and the troll complied by sitting in a nearby chair. Dave sat in one close to the window, his head turned away from the three of them. “Alright Kid, it aint a pretty story by far. So,-“

“Don’t you think you should list off a few trigger warnings before you begin?” Kankri crossed his arms and took a seat near Karkat.

“I think he can handle it. I’d rather not sit here for half the night listing off triggers.” Dirk looked at Karkat. “An umbrella trigger for it is ‘abuse’ as a whole. Trust me, it makes me uncomfortable just talking about this. But Kankri’s right, you need to know before you agree to marry into our family. I just need you to listen, okay?”

Karkat glanced over at Dave, He hadn’t moved at all. He looked back over to Dirk, who had taken his glasses off. “Yeah, I’m listening.”

Dirk offered a weak smile. “Alright. This shit show goes back before I was born, so get ready for a Strider History lesson.”


	5. Chapter 5

Dirk took his shades off and put them to the side. Karkat noticed that he wouldn’t quite make eye contact with him. The room was so quiet for a few moments that Karkat could have heard his heart thumping in his chest. Dirk rubbed his neck nervously before opening his mouth.

“So, as you already know, the Strider family was originally just a bunch of knights who had rebelled against the Condesce along with the other three beta families, and the Zodiacs. After beating her ass, we were all elected as royalty for having the courage to step up. The land was divided respectively, trolls getting the bigger portion because there’s more of you guys. A council was put in place between us, so that if tyranny ever happened again, it’d be squashed quickly."

"We all have different personality traits. Lalondes’ are usually sly, grim, but smart. Tactical and prone to psychoanalyzing anyone that darkens their doors. Egbert’s family has always been goofier, well known for prank playing. But you can always rely on them, they get shit done. They’ve always been natural leaders. Harley’s family is always armed to the damn teeth. You can always count on them being the first to go out and explore new lands. They soak up adventure. And Striders, well, we’re more laid back. We get shit done too, but we’re well known for being the stoic ‘cool kid’ type."

"Rose claims this ‘cool kid’ expectation led to hyper masculinity in our family, or something along those lines. So when Bro was raising us, emotions went out the door. Left no finger prints behind at the scene, just a shitty pair of shades and emotional trauma.”

He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a breath.

“I didn’t think as a kid ‘Oh hey, I think we’re getting abused’, because when you’re raised in that shit, it’s all you know. You don’t know that your dad shouldn’t be raising a sword at you. You just think it’s a normal Strider thing…” Dirk locked eyes with Karkat for a brief moment before casting his eyes down once more.

“But before we get to that. Origin story.

So, when Bro and Mom were young, they hooked up. They were hitched for a short amount of time. Roxy and I were the first ones to be born. Roxy came first, and I was a year behind her. He was a hard ass, but it wasn’t that bad. Mom scolded him when he was too hard on us. About four years later, the twins came, Rose and Dave. I remember how excited Roxy and I were. Four kick ass siblings. Happy nuclear family, or whatever."

"I can’t pinpoint exactly when everything went to shit, but shortly after the twins were born, Mom started drinking. Like the ‘Shitfaced every night’ drinking. Her and Bro argued all the time. They sounded more like screaming contests. They ended up divorcing not long after, Dave was almost two at the time. Dave and I stayed with Bro in the Kingdom of time, and Rose and Roxy left with Mom to live in the kingdom of Light. They split us up based on gender, because Bro wasn’t going to raise any ‘weak ass’ girls. We didn’t see each other for years."

"The training started after we moved back. Dave was a fucking toddler when he began strifing with him. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, I just thought of it as training. I didn’t care that my ass was getting handed to me, I just wanted to get stronger and live up to that Strider image. Dave and I got used to getting sliced or beaten into the concrete when we got in trouble. I remember sneaking food for Dave, and teaching him how to hide food in his room when Bro wouldn’t let us eat. Broken bones and bloody noses were a common occurrence. Dave stopped crying because of scratches and bruises after Bro punished him for it."

 "Mom didn’t know, I’m sure if she did, she would have done something about it. Her alcohol issue never got better. After years of not seeing her, we had to watch her body get put into the ground. Roxy’s coronation was the first time we were able to talk to our siblings in years. They noticed the bruises, and shit just hit the fan. Next thing I knew, John’s dad had hit Bro, and Rose had to hold Roxy back.”

Dirk paused to allow a small smile light up his features.

“Even Signless was pissed. We were all surprised to see him threaten violence towards someone. The Zodiacs and Betas got together and dethroned Bro, he disappeared after that. Dave and I had to go to therapy for a while, and later I was crowned King. I was 18 at the time, and I haven’t seen the bastard since.”

He looked over at Kankri. “And good ol’ Kankri kept me company a lot. One of the first actual friends I made. We used to make it a game to see who could initiate a full blown Vantas rant from him. He’d go for hours upon hours if you let him.”

Kankri rolled his eyes. “Well then, I do apologize for showing _compassion_.” A soft blush crossed his face.

That was new.

“I just thought you could use someone to help you through troubling times.”

Dirk smiled at him. “You know I’m picking, you we’re always the life of the party. Anyways,” He turned his attention back towards Karkat. “That’s it. Bro was a shitty guy, but I’ve made sure that Dave and I will run this kingdom properly. He let things just go to shit here. But it’s gotten better. Dave is a whiz-kid with the economy. He even established a stock market for us.”

Dave barely moved at the comments, his attention was focused elsewhere.

Dirk shifted himself on the billiard table. “So, I showed you mine, now it’s your turn. Dish it all out for me. I’ll even jot down a few notes.” He turned his head towards Dave. “I hope you’re listening to this part, kid. Important future-husband info incoming.”

“Oh shut _up_.” Kankri huffed. “It’s really not that big of a story. Mostly because most of our history was erased.” He crossed his legs before speaking.

“A little known fact that we had an ancestor who helped in the rebellion. Originally, he was also going to be awarded a kingdom. However, they discovered the color of his blood. The Vantas’ unnatural bright red color was an abnormality to them. He shouldn’t have even lived that long as far as they were concerned. He belonged nowhere on the hemospectrum, and he lacked a symbol. Before our ancestor helped in the rebellion, he was a ‘preacher’ who spoke about the eradication of the caste system. He spoke of calmer ways of life, and breaking away from the Condesce’s rule."

"Because of his mutated blood, and his preaching, the Highbloods sent him to his death instead of rewarding him for his assistance in the rebellion. His followers scattered, only daring to speak of his legacy and teachings to those willing to listen. His following was passed down through generations, but he became more of a myth as time dragged on. His texts had been hidden for many sweeps until our father stumbled upon them in Leijon’s kingdom. He took these texts to the council and they awarded him, begrudgingly by the highbloods, a small kingdom. Our father had already dubbed himself the “Signless”, but took on the shape of the cuffs used on The Sufferer as our symbol." "Those who knew of the Sufferer’s legacy joined quickly, and lowbloods looking to escape highblood rule followed after. Especially those who lived in kingdoms where lowbloods are a minority. It was a slow build, but he made it work. After a few sweeps of stabilizing the kingdom, I was born. I was taught the ways and teachings of my father as soon as I was old enough, already being groomed as his heir. A couple of sweeps later, Karkat was born.

From the beginning, Karkat was foretold to gain the anger and rage of the Sufferer, while I would pick up his more peaceful ways. As you can see, they were right.”

Kankri picked at the collar of his suit. “I was 9 sweeps old when we found him dead. We suspect that there was foul play involved, but we had no solid proof. Since then I’ve refused the crown. Father taught me in the ways of preaching, but I have always…lacked when it came to leading others. Karkat was better at it. He’s been barking out orders since he was 2 sweeps old. He has something that I don’t. That’s why I want him to have the crown. The people deserve the best, and I believe that Karkat is the best for them.”

Karkat felt his heart clench. Kankri hadn’t said that in front of anyone else before. Karkat knew it embarrassed him to be the oldest and not able to run the kingdom. Karkat wished that Kankri had more confidence in himself. If it wasn't for him, Kakrat wouldn't have the courage to run the kingdom in the first place. “But you’re still doing something pretty damn great. You’re going off into highblood territory to get new followers. That’s pretty brave, I couldn’t do it.”

Kankri smiled warmly at him. “Well, we need it. I don’t want all of Father’s work to be wasted. It would be a stumbling block for all lowbloods as well. They would have to return under the caste system if our kingdom was to dissipate.”

Dirk cleared his throat. “Not to break up this totally heartfelt moment, which is hallmark worthy by the way, but I’d just like to say that if Karkat is still down with it, He and Dave have my blessing. I’m proud of him for what he did. He may act like a total ass sometimes, but he has a good heart.” He looked back at Karkat. "Besides, I don't think anyone else could handle his 'cool kid' bullshit."

Dave shrugged and turned back towards the three. “I mean, it’s whatever you know? Isn’t that the ‘knightly’ thing to do? No big deal just helpin’ a bro out. And it's not bullshit. I'm certified by Pyrope herself. Got the seal of approval and some leftover spit to prove it.” A smirk crossed his face. “Besides, he may grate on the ears, but he’s easy on the eyes.” Karkat could have sworn he saw a wink behind those obnoxious shades.

“You two have mine as well. However I would be more comfortable if you two went on a couple of dates beforehand to solidify your decisions. We’re short on time, but I still want to make sure that the both of you are confident in doing this together.” Kankri smiled warmly at them.

“And until then,” Dirk turned his body towards Dave. “I’m gonna need Mom’s ring back. Pretty sure he’d prefer his diamond not to be hot pink.”

Dave shrugged. “You never know man, I think Karkitty would look pretty sweet in pink.” Dave fished the ring out of his pocket and walked over to Dirk, placing it in his hand. Dave smiled when Karkat flipped him off without Kankri noticing. “Already? We should probably wait until the night of the wedding.”

“I swear I’m going to fucking kill you the second you say I do and run off with your money.” Karkat crossed his arms and huffed. Dave would be more of an annoyance, but he was better than the other candidates. He was bearable. But only barely.

“Damn. Already planning to get that life insurance, huh?” Dirk chuckled. “Yeah, you two are gonna be great for each other.”

 Dave snorted. “Yeah, a great headache.”

Kankri was the one to laugh this time. “You two even sound the same. I think things will work out just fine. But the real test will be when you two go on a date. Don’t let Kakrat’s mouth fool you. He has a soft heart.” Karkat opened his mouth but Kankri quickly spoke before he could. “But enough of that, we should return to the party. I’m sure our absence has been noticed by now.”

The four got up and left the room, walking back to the ballroom and blending in with the crowd. Karkat snuck away from Kankri to spend some time catching up with Sollux and Terezi. Every once in a while he’d feel eyes on him, and every time he would turn to meet a pair of shades in his direction from the other end of the ballroom. Of course, Dave would turn his head quickly and pretend like he wasn’t, but Karkat knew. It made Karkat’s face light up a few times, which Terezi loved because she could smell his “cherry-blood”. Eventually Terezi and Sollux figured out that it was Strider who was making the troll so flustered and began to taunt him about it. Karkat was sure that he was going to fall into his grave by the night was finished.

But he did feel like a weight had been lifted, and he had Strider to thank for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry oh my god.  
> Anyways, anyone else hate Bro Strider in this chili's tonight?


End file.
